The ramblings of a insane genius. . .

Snowed in weekend is OVA!

2010-02-08T23:50:00.003-05:00

Well, This weekend has been ridiculous.

Too much food, too many cigarettes. Not really looking forward to going back to normal society. I need the money though. It's irritating that I may be off again on Wednesday. That means I'll only get three days on my check. That's crap. I may just work from 8-6 on those days and then I'll be able to get a decent check. That'll happen...I really don't wanna go back.

I really can't get over somethings that happen around me. I seriously feel like I should check myself into a mental institution and figure out...just what the HELL is wrong with me. Ugh. Some things are DEFINITELY better left unsaid. I'll put what I need to say in my personal journal. Therefore no one can read them and won't be mad.

Well, I'm going to take a pill...and then try to go to bed.

just would like to add...

2010-02-05T17:56:00.001-05:00

Even though somethings don't go the way you want...you just need to bitch until you get your way.

...teehee...I had my own little Confucius moment.

xoxo

Part one....

2010-02-05T16:52:00.003-05:00

Well, we hit up the Walgreens and got too much junkfood. We're complete and utter cows.

We got Bruno and Saw 6 so that should be fun. Talkin' over some performance stuff...and then gunna probably be up all night as well. Should be fun. If my head doesn't explode first.

....doesn't affect me...doesn't affect me. . .. . . .

Bored...and getting ready to be bored.....er.

2010-02-04T18:51:00.002-05:00

Well, it's Thursday night...and I'm bored out of my mind. Christ sakes...

Looks like we're going to get another blizzard, and it's not looking like the good ones from Dairy Queen. They're calling for anything between 12 and 24 inches. F.M.L.

So, hopefully one of my friends decided they wanna be snowed in with me. Otherwise I'm going to be S C R E W E D and I'll be STUCK with my parents.

That is all.

Changes are 'a comin!

2010-02-03T10:51:00.000-05:00

Well, I've decided it's time to start writing again. I've started three writing projects: My commentary on life, politics and stupidity...(here), Life according to Misty: The true stories (on Misty's Blog) and my own personal journal which will be put online after a year. I'm trying to complete one thing I set my mind to. Hopefully I don't piss too many people off with it. lol.

SO, look for some changes on here. . . and starting Friday, February 5, 2010 I'll be blogging full time.

Can't wait to write for all five of you who read this! Maybe it'll catch on.

coming soon...

2010-02-02T00:26:00.001-05:00

I've been slacking....More to come. Loads of stuff going on . . .

Mondays suck...part one

2009-11-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

…why is it that people feel the need to hit the BRAKES when someone is on the side of the road…whether or not it’s a cop or a broken down car? A line of about 8 cars did this today on my way to work…and I wasn’t at ALL amused. I was INCHES away from the car in front of me because I was going the speed limit and had to slam on the BREAKS. THEN….the asshole behind me narrowly escaped hitting me. My goodness. This has been a fantastic start to the day.

So, I’m going to comment on something I heard on the radio.

Australia is upset that Britney Spears doesn’t sing live during her concert. . . . the word “duh” comes to mind. Not that I’m sticking up for her. I believe artists should sing live but I think the novelty of Britney is that she’s a dancer and not that much of a singer. The Australian government is trying to impose a law that tickets to events like this should have “ a disclaimer on the ticket, saying that it is a pre-recorded show.” I think that’s going a little far…I mean doesn’t anyone in Australia have You-tube?? Surely, they’ve looked at the “Circus” tour and seen that she doesn’t sing live.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for now.

Later…

- Me

Taylor Swift's Musical Monologue

2009-11-08T23:00:00.002-05:00

Good for her! I appreciate someone who can poke fun at shit that's happened to them.

Music Player Life Story

2009-11-08T22:32:00.003-05:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME
DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

**OK GO! **

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
House of 1000 Corpses - Rob Zombie

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Sunrise (Jason Nevins Mix) - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
In the Afterlife - Squirrel Nut Zippers

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Last Christmas (I gave you my heart) - George Michaels

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"(Go to) California" Rob Zombie

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Bad Girls ft. Lil Kim - Rupaul

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Love Thing - Spice Girls

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Surrender your groove - Geri Halliwell

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
This Groove - Victoria Beckham

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
S.O.S - Mamma Mia Soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Unbreak my heart - Toni Braxton

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Crazy Possesive - Kaci Battaglia

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Castles in the sky - DJ Geoffe

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Never coming home - Queer eye for the straight guy soundtrack

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Dead Girl Superstar - Rob Zombie

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron and Wine

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Go! - Melanie C

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I want it that way - Backstreet Boys

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Unconditional Love - Victoria Beckham

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Break Me, Shake me - Savage Garden

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
If you're not the one - Daniel Beddingfield

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Who do you think you are? - Spice Girls

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Desire - Geri Halliwell

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
I'm not in love - BBMak

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
No more cry - The Corrs

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
When love takes over - Kelly Rowland

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR ROOMMATE?
Sometimes I need you - Sam Springston

It's been a while....

2009-11-08T22:16:00.002-05:00

No need to catch you up on anything...nothing worth writing about.

So, I'd like to know how one person can make you so angry that it changes your outlook on life? Seriously...It's terrifying that I might grow up one day to be that person. It's irritating. Then to top it off, I can't "cut that person out of my life" because they're apart of my family.

I think I'm on my "man-period". I hate feeling like this.

Meh.

More to come. I'm tired of boring people with my life, instead I'll bore the entirety of cyberspace.

Later...

-Me

"The Mind of Man" - John DeVore

2009-02-09T01:40:00.003-05:00

1. I think I’m awesome, but seriously, why do you think I’m awesome?

2. I can speak dolphin. Which is how I help them.

3. I don’t have a driver’s license and I don’t know how to drive a car. But I know how to drive the ladies wild and I have a license to freak, freak you sweet and spicy, freak you like a jungle cat made out of lava.

4. I write poetry. Here’s a sample, “She walks in beauty, like the night/Of cloudless climes and starry skies/And all that’s best of dark and bright/Meets in her aspect and her eyes.” I just made that up, right now, on the spot.

5. Yes I can, did, will, etc.

6. I have flaws: I love too much, dream too big, rock too hard. Not to mention give too much, take too little, heal too many. Guilty as charged, I accept this superhuman burden.

7. I’m a Texan, which means I’m the American equivalent of a Viking. This means I’m strong, complete with glazed ham sized-muscles, and a pair of abs, and, like, all that jazz. I’m also half-Mexican, which means I’m full of the Latin fire. The other half is standard issue redneck, which means I like grits, bacon and Cheez Whiz.

8. I have written for and edited major men’s interest magazines and was actually nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for the article “Bikini Wax or Whack?” I thanked my mom when I won, because women like men who are close with their mom, but not THAT close. But close. Shhh. Mommy’s calling.

9. It’s not easy being beautiful. True story.

10. Every single of my 507 friends on Facebook are my totes BFFS 4eva. Fer reelz.

11. I have made passionate love to 1,270 women. In my mind. I call it the “Jedi Bang.”

12. I can make a woman orgasm just by whispering “John DeVore says it’s time for your cookie. Do what John DeVore says.” The resulting orgasm makes the angels lament their lack of mortal genitals.

13. I’m very good at listening, especially if you’re talking about the following: Xbox, me, anal, me. Besides that, I am very good at all the hallmarks of resembling listening, from the furrowed brow, to the lip bite, to the sensitive slow nod.

14. I do not sweat. Instead, my glands secrete a mild fragrance that resembles warm pancakes and springtime rain.

15. I have had my heart broken. But with time, I learned how to forgive the miserable bitch. Ha, ha. I’m kidding. E-mail me?

16. I am not afraid to cry. If you punch me in the man boobs and kick me in the coin purse.

17. My instant message name is totally not “Optimus Gandalf,” no matter what “Pegasus Unicorn” says on that message board. Also: I never really spent time in prison. It was a jail, and it was just a night or three.

18. My favorite color is your skin. Unless you have a disfiguring skin disease. Then my favorite color is your great personality.

19. If I were on the periodic table, I’d be one of the elements of style.

20. I don’t “booty call.” Lightening will strike outside your window, and the thunder will tenderly bellow, “He is on his way.”

21. Humility is my greatest virtue. Also, my penis is so huge, it has its own moon.

22. I am a great fan of the literary greats. Nabokov, Murakami, DeVore.

23. Favorite word: John DeVore.

24. Money isn’t important to me, if I have lots and lots of it. It’s expensive to have to split the bill all the time.

25. I lied about my greatest virtue. It’s being honest with myself, with my Facebook friends, and my ho’s. I am not a man who is afraid to look deep within and high-five himself.

** I didn't write this but I think it's great. Kind of reminds me of my brother a bit."

Victoria Beckham: There's a gay man inside of me!

2009-02-04T15:50:00.004-05:00

Victoria Beckham is on the cover of this month's Italy Vanity Fair and she tells the magazine, "I love women. I like them as friends, as interesting people to speak with. But I love gay men. I always say it. Inside me there is a gay man who wants to come out! With heterosexual men I have nothing in common – excluding my husband, brothers and father, you understand."

She also told that magazine that she would love to have a daughter one day. "If it happens, I'd love it. You can't choose what you have, but after three boys I would love a girl."

I FUCKIN' LOVE THIS BITCH!

The Gay Heirarchy

2008-09-14T21:21:00.000-04:00

I posted this a while ago on another blog. I figure my new readers should be able to enjoy.

The Gay Hierarchy : A case study by Michael Derouin

**In the meaning of gay hierarchy, this is towards gay men. Lesbians have their own rules, regulation and bi-laws governing their collective.**

In my seven years as a gay man, I’ve come to notice something. There is a heirarchy in the gay community. This heirarchy is a ladder system and it contains many levels.

The bottom level of the “ladder” contains undesirables.

The “undesirable” gay man contains many different categories. Gay men over 60, overwieght men, very ugly men, men who aren’t kept nice (I.E. Bad hair cut or wearing clothes that don’t fit them). Usual Drink: Whiskey Sour

The next level in the ladder is the “Newbie” catagory.

“Newbie” is a term for men who are reasonably young that have just come out of the closet. They are reasonably eager to please and usually going through their slut phase. The slut phase usually lasts about 6 months; The newbie will usually sleep with anyone who shows them any affection or buys them a drink, when the newbie is under drinking age. *Note: Newbies have a tendancy of having their heart broken after the six month phase because most of the time in the gay community Sex=Love. Usual Drink: Anything their sex partner for the night will buy them.

The next level on the ladder is the boy next door.

The boy next door is usually moderately good looking, normal body (not overly muscular) and can come in handy when you need help doing something. Usually carrying groceries or mixing cement. Usual Drink: Diet Cola w/ Lime

The next level is the Flamboyant Gay Male.

The Flamboyant Gay Male is higher on the ladder because they are higher in numbers. The usual signs of the this type of gay man is usually a high pitched voice, tighter than normal pants, persistent finger snapping, repetitive use of the phrase “Bitch, please” or calling anyone no matter what their gender “Girl”. They tend to be more feminine than most women. Usual Drink: Cosmopolitan

The following level is that of the Hot Jocks.

Hot jocks tend to wear their school colors or their favorite teams colors. They also, depending on the sport they play wear a baseball hat with their favorite team’s mascot on it. They don’t like to dance and usually only drink beer because they’ve grown accustomed to beer because of beer busts at college frat parties. Most like to think they are tops (The givers in the sexual relations.) but that’s usually their macho ego’s getting in the way. 9/10 times they are usually a big bossy bottom (The receiver in the sexual relationship). Usual Drink: Miller Lite or Bud Lite

The next rung in the dysfunctional gay ladder is the twink.

By definition a twink is a gay man who is usually thin and hairless. They have no real concept of dieting and/or exercise because they’ve always been thin. They tend to be in high demand in some cultures. They are usually wanted by other twinks or older men who are willing to pay for their services. They tend to listen to infectious pop like Britney Spears, Cascada or Justin Timberlake. Usual Drink: Sex on the Beach

The next to last rung in the ladder is the club/dancing queen.

Usually if these gays go to a club they will be dancing the entire night. They don’t go to cruise (checking out guys) or to drink a lot of liquor. They are the ones if they are on a water break and Kelly Clarkson’s “Since you been gone” comes on they will run over anyone in the way to get to the floor before the first bit of lyrics comes on so they can act out the lyrics with their god awful dancing. They are also usually thin, they are dancing 5 out of 7 days of the week. Usual Drink: Bottled Water

The final and highest position of the Gay Hierarchy, is the Power Queer.

Power Queers tend to know every bouncer at the top clubs so they usually skip the lines and usually don’t pay any cover because they are always on the guest list. They also know (or have blown) every bartender in the joint so they usually get free drinks. They can fuck who they like. They can make fun of who they like. They also have the “designated dance area” ( which is usually the most well lit area or the highest part of the room; if it has a raised dance floor.)Usual Drink: Martini, Flavored Vodka and Cranberry or Pineapple juice.

There are separate parts of the Hierarchy which are their own collective state.

Fag Hags:

Fag Hags are the gay man’s best friend. They are the only women allowed into the hierarchy. It’s a usual ratio if you are going out to have one gay man to every two fag hags. They are the support and conscience for the normal gay man. They have a tendancy to fall in love with their designated homosexual. These women usually went to the prom with said homosexual. More than likely, they were the first girlfriend to said Homosexual. Therefore they have a whole different connection between each other.

Ex-Boyfriends:

If the male in the relationship who was dumped is in a lower class than the upper level partner, the laws and rules that covered the lower level partner are null and void. They are to return to their original class and they aren’t allowed to speak to the upper level partner. Only if a conversation is struck by the upper level may the lower level speak to him.

This has been an independant study and is not intended to offend anyone. If it does offend you, then you should really stop takin’ yourself so seriously.

The Year of Reunions

2008-09-09T16:45:00.000-04:00

The Spice Girls did it with mostly RAVE reviews....now it's The New Kids on the Block's turn.

(The Spice Girls completed a 49 date World tour in the winter of 2007/2008. They sold out London's 02 Arena in 17 seconds; because of that they added show after show, eventually becoming 17 in total just in the one venue. About 75% of their shows were sold out. Can the original boyband beat them? Pictured from top and then clockwise; Victoria Beckham, Melanie Brown, Emma Bunton, Geri Halliwell and Melanie C.)

Reunion tours have sky rocketed sales for the once defunct musical acts. This writer would like to see what NKOTB have got to offer the masses, considering I've never really heard any of their stuff before. Their first single in 14 years was

Their first single in 14 years was released in May 2008 titled "Summertime". I've heard it. It's ok. It's gotten alot of airplay, so that's really good for a 14 year hiatus. In fact, more airplay than The Spice Girls comeback ballad "Headlines (Friendship Never Ends). That was after an 8 year hiatus.

Their newest album titled "The Block" hit stores on September 2, 2008.

The track listing is as follows:

01. Click Click Click

02. Single (with Ne-Yo)

03. Big Girl Now (featuring Lady Gaga)

04. Summertime

05. 2 In The Morning

06. Grown Man (featuring Pussycat Dolls and Teddy Riley)

07. Dirty Dancing

08. Sexify My Love

09. Twisted

10. Full Service (featuring New Edition)

11. Lights, Camera, Action

12. Put It on My Tab (featuring Akon)

13. Stare at You

Their Reunion tour kicked off on September 4, 2008 in Toronto, ON and is scheduled to hit Montreal, New York, Boston (Their Hometown), Washington DC, Atlantic City, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, New Orleans and they are set to hit Euorpe as well! These boys men have their work cut out for them.

Tickets are still on sale, so...if they are any good, we'll be getting some tickets !

P.S. The Spice Girls sold out all 11 of their gigs in London's O2 Arena in 17 seconds. Can the Original Boy Band do as well as the Queens of Pop??

Make-over Heaven !!

2008-09-09T11:27:00.000-04:00

Well, Victoria Beckham did it again! She chopped her hair off and was out rockin' the new 'do at Marc Jacobs Fashion show in NYC on Monday night!

What do you think of her change?

Before

After

We think it's BITCHIN !